Penis size linked to personality, d- -k pics give first impression: study

Size apparently does matter — when it comes to personality.

A new study by New Mexico researchers found that people with bigger penises are perceived as more outgoing and attractive, while the opposite is true for those with more minuscule members.

First published in August in the journal “Sexuality & Culture,” the article recently went viral thanks to a bikini-clad doctor, who sex-plained the manhood-measuring research for Instagram’s viewing pleasure.

“This study tested what first impression you’re giving about your personality judging by your d–k pic alone,” explained Dr. M The Science Femme, a self-described neuroscience PhD and feminist, on YouTube video while sporting only a two-piece swimsuit. The unidentified guest lecturer, known for posting viral science explainers in lingerie, collaborated with science site Psypost.org to interpret the sex-periment, which was originally conducted by scientists with New Mexico Highlands University.

The scientists had reportedly carried out the phallic personality test with the aim of investigating “what information is inferred from a picture of a penis at zero-acquaintance.”

To determine the correlation between a stranger’s penis shape and how they’re perceived, the randy researchers showed 106 people — 80 percent of whom were women — photos of 24 penises that varied in girth, length and the amount of pubic hair.

After looking at the image, the participants were then asked to infer whether the owner was extroverted, good in bed, dependable, anxious and other personality traits.

They found that there exists an undeniable link between the size of a member and character. Generally speaking, bigger Johnsons were seen as synonymous with extroversion, while smaller penises were perceived as the opposite.

Or as The Science Femme put it, “Apparently, skinny penises are giving neuroticism, and girthy penises are giving extraverted, open to new experiences, more sexually active, better in bed, and more of a pleaser as opposed to being a ‘pillow princess.’”

“Long penises gave off the same impressions,” added the bikini-clad brainiac who frequently posts science explainers on Instagram and Patreon.

Average-sized willies, on the other hand, fell unsurprisingly in the middle of the character indicator spectrum, per the study.

“Medium-length penises didn’t signal any strong personality traits at all,” Dr. M explained her breakdown. “Congratulations, you’re a blank canvas. Maybe now partners can get to know you as a *person.*”

Interestingly, the opposite rule held true for public hair, in which less was more in terms of “pubic” perception. “Having untrimmed pubic hair apparently gives off strong signals that you’re an introverted, disagreeable, careless, virgin,” declared the Science Femme.

While the study may seem superficial, the scientists stressed their research was important as it determined that people can formulate impressions based on penises alone.

“While most research has prioritized the face pictures and biographies of potential partners, the present findings take a step forward to investigate how pictures of penises may contribute to the holistic perception of the person within digital spaces,” the scientists wrote.

In fact, the Science Femme even commended the study authors on being “shockingly woke and self-aware.”

“I was impressed by how they acknowledge that penis-sized based perceptions of masculinity are related to greater sexism and greater sexual narcissism (add a new red flag to the list, yall),” she added.

Thankfully, despite the aforementioned findings, the punily-endowed reportedly compensate for an alleged lack of character in other ways. For instance, a 2020 survey by online bazaar OnlyBuy found that the biggest earners tend to have the smallest willies.