Bizarre crimes of 2023 include thief who left marbles and poultry-wielding woman

A stolen 17-inch Bigfoot statue – or maybe it was a trade for marbles – and a chicken-wielding woman’s alleged poultry pounding of her boyfriend were among a few of the most head-scratching crimes of 2023.

In Glendale, Wisconsin, officers chasing a stolen car cuffed a feces-and-urine-covered suspect who hid from cops in a port-a-potty. 

Another man was in a 106 mph dash to tell cops he was driving drunk.

Here’s a better look at five peculiar crimes police dealt with in 2023. 

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A thief’s remorse

A 17-inch Bigfoot statue was stolen from a Cleveland art store during the overnight hours of Nov. 8-9, and then the thief made the most awkward getaway.

The suspect, who wasn’t caught, was spotted on security video idling in front of the crime scene for about 15 minutes. 

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Instead of taking off with the loot, he left two envelopes where the statue was. 

In one envelope, he left $6 in cash. In the other envelope, a blue marble. 

“Chicken residue in (the victim’s) hair”

There’s nothing more dangerous than a scorned woman, especially when an entire chicken is within reach.

A man in Eagle Lake, Minnesota, called 911 around 7:30 p.m. Feb. 1 to report a domestic violence situation. 

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Dispatch heard screams in the background of the call, and responding officers followed the yells inside the house, where a woman allegedly hit her boyfriend in the head with a whole chicken.

“Victim still had some chicken residue in his hair,” Fox 9 KMSP reported based on the criminal complaint. 

She was arrested and charged with misdemeanor domestic assault.

“Play stupid games, win stupid prizes”

A suspected car thief thought he could outsmart the cops by hiding in a port-a-potty. 

He was one of four teenagers who led police on a wild, high-speed chase in Glendale, Wisconsin, where they rammed through traffic barrels and smashed into oncoming cars before swerving into a guardrail.

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One hid in a port-a-potty, but quick-thinking golfers on a nearby golf course beat the suspect at hide-and-seek and tipped the port-a-potty on its side so responding officers could cuff him.

The orange port-a-potty was knocked on its side in a video recorded by Ilissa Boland, who shared it with Fox News Digital. 

The suspect is seen climbing out and surrendering to officers closing in with guns drawn, which was depicted in Julie Olson’s funny Playmobil scene on her Facebook page called “Mommy Plays Playmobil” with the caption, “Play stupid games, win stupid prizes.”

106 mph drive to jail

On Jan. 28, a Minnesota man was in a rush to tell police his adult beverage order that night.

A Cottage Grove man sped 106 mph to the Brown County Jail, about a two-hour drive, and allegedly told police he was drinking for hours. 

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“He stated he had four vodkas mixed with Mountain Dew,” bringmethenews.com reported, based on the criminal complaint. 

He allegedly said he “felt buzzed,” and the police officer “could smell the odor of alcohol” on his breath and noted his bloodshot, watery eyes, constricted pupils and slurred speech.

He was charged with third-degree DWI. 

Detroit’s graveyard controversy

Grave markers were moved, headstones are missing, and other weird issues plagued a Detroit cemetery. 

Families don’t know where their loved ones are actually buried, according to a report by Local 4, which broke the story and investigated it. 

A mom said her son’s grave was in one place, but his headstone was in another spot. Another woman told the local news outlet that her grandparents’ headstones were moved multiple times. 

Another grave site seemingly vanished, a man told Local 4, which described broken pieces of headstones, freshly dug-up dirt and grave markers littered all over Gethsemane Cemetery.

“We deeply apologize to any family that has experienced that type of confusion… We are more than willing to work with any family seeking clarity as to the location of their loved one’s gravesite,” the city said in a statement.