Company launches vagina chips for sex-starved millennials

It’s the perfect gift for millennials who lack a lot of “Lays.”

If they can’t get it in the sack, they can get it in the snack. A chip company that purports to cater to sex-starved 30-somethings boasts a new flavor that supposedly tastes like a woman’s vajayjay.

“After tasting it, you will remember your wildest love adventures, your first real love, and maybe even lose your oral virginity,” reps for Chazz, the Lithuania-based creators of the private-parroting potato chips, claim on their site.

Dubbed “p—y-flavored potato chips,” the kinky creations are inspired by a purported generation-wide sex drought among millennials, who allegedly prefer perusing social media to getting saucy in the sack.

“According to several past years research data around the world, millennials are having 3 times less sex than their parents at the same age,” Chazz claimed of Generation Y’s alleged involuntary celibacy trend, per Jam Press. “It is unbelievable that someone is choosing social media instead of live communication, dating and real sex.”

This comes despite recent studies showing that millennials have better, freakier sex than previous generations.

Nonetheless, Chazz wanted to replicate sex in snack form for millennials, like an X-rated version of Willy Wonka’s Three Course Dinner Chewing Gum. The chip bags, which run around $9 each, are even emblazoned with the slogan “lose your virginity with Chazz.”

In order to condense the sexperience into 2-D chip form, Chazz reportedly “selected the five bravest and most experienced team members (boys and girls)” and sent them on individual missions to gather the most private part-approximating flavors.

“At the same time, other colleagues were Googling in forums, comments and found dozens of opinions from different countries what the p—y taste associates with,” the food pornographers wrote of their raunchy recon mission. “After summing up the results, agreeing on all the essential sensations of this taste and additional notes, we formed the task and sent it to the three huge EU manufacturers of spices.”

Chazz then whittled down the resultant dozens of samples into a few that best approximated the flavor of love. Finally, the fast food firm adjusted the ingredient levels to “reflect this taste as close as possible,” per the site. Voila, millennials could allegedly finally lose their V-card culinarily.

The NSFW noshes — which only use real ingredients (to spice up your sex life?) — are apparently not just for sex-deprived millennials. The site describes the frisky frankenfood as a “great GIFT for the one you love, cause to initiate a romantic evening, or just simple delight for your taste buds and fun chat about sex.”

“P.S. For girls and women: if this or previous year you were pleased by someone, it is very likely that you have directly contributed to the creation of this taste,” Chazz quipped on the site.

As of yet, the chips — which are currently only distributed in Europe — are sold out, but they should be getting a new batch at the end of the month, per the site.

Chazz isn’t the first chip company to try and replicate a bizarre essence. In 2018, bosses at Doritos have revealed they were launching a new “lady-friendly” version of the snack which are quieter to eat and a lot less messy.