Copenhagen 4-3 Manchester United – Hosts down 10-man United in UEFA Champions League thriller

Late goals from Lukas Lerager and Roony Bardghji gave FC Copenhagen a memorable win in the UEFA Champions League, in the process increasing the pressure on Manchester United and Erik ten Hag.

United started the game well, a fine move culminating in a tap-in for Rasmus Hojlund on three minutes. Then, on 28, Hojlund scored again and the game looked safe – but for the fact that United are experts at setting their own traps, and sure enough just before half-time, Marcus Rashford was sent off.

Just a minute later, Mohamed Elyounousi pulled a goal back, and with nine of 13 first-half injury-time minutes gone, Harry Maguire conceded a penalty; Diogo Goncalves slotted it home.

United, though, started the second half well and took the lead with a penalty of their own, Maguire’s header hitting Lerager’s arm; Fernandes slammed the penalty into the roof of the net and United had something to hang onto.

But they couldn’t keep it, Diogo Dalot losing Lerager at the back post on 83 minutes before the substitute Bardghji swept in a winner on 87 that sent the Parken into raptures.

Manchester United’s ability to lose football matches in implausible ways is absolutely astonishing. Often this season, they’ve started poorly, but here they went 1-0 up inside three minutes and 2-0 up inside 28, then led after 82, only to lose, again.

Oddly, as with the game at home to Galatasaray, United played some decent football, but even if they were unlucky with the red card, a lack of ruthlessness and quality cost them so, how do they get it back?

Ten Hag needs to start picking his best team, not a team he thinks can do a job. There is no circumstance in which Jonny Evans is a better pick than Raphael Varane, and no midfield that requires Scott McTominay; Diogo Dalot has proved time and again he’s not good enough, so Sergio Reguilon might as well get a go; and Kobbie Mainoo is young, but everything United’s midfield is missing.

Otherwise, though, United need to hang in there because, once Luke Shaw and Lisandro Martinez are back, they can be a decent team; the question is whether the pressure on them and their manager becomes intolerable in the meantime.

If he gets the right service and support, he could be a superstar.

FC Copenhagen: Grabara 6, Ankersen 6, vavro 6, Diks 6, Jelert 6, Goncalves 7, Falk 6, Lerager 7, Achouri 6, Claesson 6, Elyounoussi 7. Subs: Bardghji 7, Sorensen 6, Oskarsson 6, Boilesen 6, Larsson 6.

Manchester United: Onana 6, Wan-Bissaka 5, Maguire 6, Evans 6, Dalot 5, Eriksen 6, McTominay 6, Fernandes 7, Rashford 6, Hojlund 8, Garnacho 7. Subs: Varane 6, Amrabat 6, Mount 6.

3′ – GOAL! Copenhagen 0-1 Man Utd (Hojlund): United play out – words that usually precede a goal for United’s opponents – well, a Bruno diag finding Rashford, who finds Wan-Bissaka, who pokes into the box for McTominay. And McTominay, doing what he’s there to do, takes a touch, composes, and squares a tap-in for Hojlund! That’s four in four for him in the Champions League!

28’ – GOAL! Copenhagen 0-2 Man Utd (Hojlund): He’s done it again! Bruno wins the ball in centrefield and one pass sets Garnacho away! He’s a pretty good finisher in these situations and ignores the big centre-forward galumphing alongside to slides a low finish, but this time the keeper shoves it away – not very far – so Hojlund taps home! Five in four!

41’ – BUT WHAT’S THIS?! VAR ARE REVIEWING A POTENTIAL RED CARD FOR RASHFORD! Wan-Bissaka wins the ball and Rashford tries to protect it, extending studs and, in the process, accidentally stamping on Jelert’s ankle! No intent I don’t think, and it looked fine at normal speed, but looking again – in slow-mo of course – I’d be amazed if he’s not sent-off.

42’ – MARCUS RASHFORD IS SENT-OFF! He’ll miss the rest of tonight’s games, Galatasaray away, Bayern home, and one more – if there is one more.

44’ – GOAL! Copenhagen 1-2 Man Utd (Elyounoussi): This is very nicely done, Ankersen crossing well from the right, Goncalves cushioning back across and through Varane’s legs, for Elyounoussi to sweep home! United’s luck is absolutely staying as it is!

45+7’ – PENALTY! United are raging, but following a cross into the box, Goncalves tries to turn, flicking the ball up off his toes … and into Maguire’s arm! It’s not deliberate as per the dictionary definition but the arm is out – if you’re asking, the law is silly because you should not get an 80% chance of a goal for that – but United have uniteded this even faster than seemed possible!

45+9’ – GOAL! Copenhagen 2-2 Man Utd (Goncalves pen): Football is just total lunacy! Goncalves pauses, waits, then strokes left as Onana moves right! I’ve not a clue what’s going to happen next and we’ve still four minutes of the first half to play!

66’ – PENALTY! He wins the header, into Lerager’s arm, it hits it, and all the United players there want a penalty! It looks like one to me too, given the one given earlier in the game, and the ref comes over for a look! Penalty!

69’ – GOAL! Copenhagen 2-3 Man Utd (Fernandes pen): Badabing! Fernandes absolutely annihilates this into the roof, near top-left. Whatever people say about him, as a sportsman he is absolutely nails.

83’ – GOAL! Copenhagen 3-3 Man Utd (Lerager) They defend well until they don’t! Falk tosses a cross to the back post and Dalot, who had a look to check where Lerager was, forget that he exists, and the finish, a sweet, cushioned volley, sends Parken into raptures!

88’ – GOAL! FC Copenhagen 4-3 Manchester United (Bardghji) Maguire plays Varane into pressure, of course he does, Varane loses the ball, and a cross into the box falls for the young sub, of course it does, who joyfully and jubilantly leathers it, left-footed, into the ground and inside the near post! Manchester United have thrown it away again! Nobody does it better!