Disney Wish is a ‘Star Wars’ geek’s dream

“I’m going to be s–tting glitter for days,” a travel agent from Las Vegas says as he nurses an electric blue cocktail poured over a glitter bomb the size of my fist.

We’re in the new “Star Wars: Hyperspace Lounge” on Disney Wish, the first ship from Disney Cruise Line in a decade.

“You should have ordered the Kaiburr Crystal,” I tell him. At $5,000, the cognac, yuzu and kumquat bevvy is rumored to be the most expensive cocktail in the world (if not the entire galaxy). To justify the price, it comes with numerous perks, including a trip to George Lucas’ Skywalker Ranch in California.

From its cocktails to its characters — including a new, more conservative pants-clad Captain Minnie Mouse — Disney Wish is already making waves.

For starters, it boasts Disney’s first at-sea ride attraction — the highly anticipated AquaMouse, a waterslide meets roller coaster. Unfortunately, it wasn’t working for most of our three-night cruise to the Bahamas. It’s a major letdown.

Not the slide, per se, but learning that Imagineers make mistakes. It’s like learning the truth about Santa.

I drown my AquaMouse sorrows at the ship’s “Inside Out”-themed Joyful Sweets shop where I discover the joy of peanut butter and jelly gelato. It’s almost as good as the riesling sauerkraut I eat as an entrée at Goofy’s Grill in Mickey’s Festival of Foods.

Between Goofy’s, Donald’s Cantina (Disney’s play on Chipotle) and Daisy’s Pizza Pies — where the elevated toppings include balsamic-dressed arugula, garlic confit and stracchino cheese — I’m in floating food court heaven.

Disney Wish is also home to three new family restaurants not found on its other four ships. For starters, there’s Worlds of Marvel, a “cinematic dining adventure” hosted by none other than Ant-Man and the Wasp.

The menu features dishes you’d expect to find in the Avengers’ stomping grounds of Sokovia, Wakanda and New York City.

Then there’s 1923, which pays homage to the year the Walt Disney Company was founded. Highlights of its old Hollywood-inspired menu include Los Feliz lobster salad, Alameda porcini-spiced ahi tuna and Burbank blueberry-lemon Bavarian Cream. Our favorite new restaurant, however, is Arendelle.

My travel partner doesn’t know the difference between Elsa and Anna or even Olaf and Kristoff, but he’s also blown away by Disney’s first Frozen-themed theatrical dining experience.

While in Arendelle’s “castle,” we nosh on Nordic dishes (catered by the one-and-only Oaken), and join Elsa and Olaf in celebrating Anna and Kristoff’s engagement.

It’s a bit of a letdown that Elsa doesn’t sing — a local folk band gets her hits stuck in your head instead — but the cast member playing her wins points simply for being able to walk around while wearing that massive wig.

Wish’s Ariel, meanwhile, is au naturel in the hair department. It’s the first time I’m seeing “The Little Mermaid,” the ship’s signature show, live. The 1,274-seat theater gives a standing ovation for a Broadway-worthy rendition of “Under the Sea.”

While our accommodations are mostly nothing special (although I appreciate a good Murphy bed and bunks that drop down from the ceiling), stateroom 14000 is next level.

Accessible only by private elevator or secret staircase, the Concierge Wish Tower Suite is actually hidden inside one of the ship’s three-story funnels. Its floor-to-ceiling views look out over the upper decks.

Apparently, Disney’s “Moana” served as the inspiration for this 1,966-square-foot, four-bedroom, four-bathroom abode. Feeling somewhat less-than, I tell Claire Weiss, the Imagineer giving us a tour of the suite, that I’ve never seen “Moana.”

“That’s OK,” she insists. “At whatever level you’re coming in on, we want you to enjoy the space.”

If I did have the $7,000 to drop for one night in the Tower Suite, I’d order the Kaiburr Crystal instead.

I don’t even care if it makes me a glitter s–tter. I’m dying to know what a $5,000 cocktail tastes like.