‘Golden Bachelor’ reducing stigma of seniors dating: expert
Linda Bang had absolutely no interest in remarrying after her husband of 43 years, Dave, died in 2016.
The Arizona mother of five and grandmother of 15 was content with the memories of what she believed was a once-in-a-lifetime bond.
Then, bang! One day in late October 2022, love happened again — at age 70.
Bang’s story isn’t so different from that of Gerry Turner, 72, the star of ABC’s new “Bachelor” spinoff, “The Golden Bachelor.” Both got a second chance at true love after experiencing painful loss.
“A church friend told me about a friend’s brother who she really thought I should meet,” Bang, 71, a park equipment manufacturer from Phoenix, told The Post. “But I said, ‘I’m not interested!’”
It wasn’t until Bang did a quick Google search of her would-be paramour, Danny White, a former professional football player who was also 70 at the time, that she agreed to meet him for dinner.
And just four short months after their first date on Oct. 25, the seasoned sweeties became engaged.
They tied the knot on May 31, 2023.
“When you’re our age, you don’t play games,” said Bang, now White, noting that her new husband’s kindness, sensitivity, and willingness to compromise won her heart. “And when you’ve already had one very happy and successful marriage…you want that companionship and love again.”
“Before, I thought that I could have gone the rest of my life alone,” added the new Mrs. White. “But when I met him, I realized that he was the [special] something that I was missing.”
Just like Bang, Turner had been married for 43 years.
He was with his high school sweetheart, Toni, from 1974 until 2017, when she died suddenly after suffering bacterial infection complications.
“I had some concerns at first that maybe if she were here looking over my shoulder, that she wouldn’t think positively about it,” Turner told USA Today of starring on “The Golden Bachelor.”
“But I was reminded of all the conversations that we had, that when one of us passed we wanted and hoped the other one, the survivor, would go through the process of grieving, but still find happiness in life.”
Relationship expert and award-winning author Heather Dugan told The Post that Turner’s “good, solid relationship” with his late wife “puts him in a good position to do this again, in a different way.”
“It is a very sad thing. I mean, this was a sweetheart situation — that’s romantic. It’s what everybody kind of would love to have somebody that, you’re soulmates, you find each other young, you build this great life together, and it is a tragedy,” Dugan explained.
“What he finds next will not look anything like what he had before,” she continued. “When you remove one thing, you create opportunities to grow in a new direction. So when that relationship and all the habits and the things they built together are gone, he may discover new things about himself.”
Contestants range from 60-75 years old, so unlike other seasons of “The Bachelor,” these women aren’t vying for social media followers — they’re genuinely looking for love.
“Authenticity is really the core of good connection,” Dugan emphasized. “One of the better things in dating older is you know yourself. You know the value of really connecting, and the games, pretending to be someone you’re not, that goes nowhere.”
While it’s clear there’s a market for senior dating shows, some naysayers have taken to social media to slam the series as “sad” and “depressing.”
“I think we avoid what we don’t yet understand. So, as we’re younger looking up, it’s beyond our comprehension,” Dugan reasoned, saying that young people “just don’t get it until they begin to get closer to that age bracket themselves.”
“And I think there’s a bit of that cringe factor,” she quipped.
Dugan added that sadness comes when you see something as a last chance, rather than a new opportunity. Tragedy happens, but it’s “part of the experience” and isn’t something we choose — it’s what you do with those moments that matter.
“Hopefully our lives are bigger than our dating segment. Whether or not you land in a love relationship should not make or break your life. Your life has to be solid and enjoyable on its own,” Dugan said. “Perspective is what gives us hope.”
Dugan says the COVID-19 pandemic spurred people to prioritize authentic personal connections and see the value of different perspectives, which has helped to diminish the stigma around elder dating.
Gen Z watched adults endure rough patches and experience loss like never before.
“They’ve survived and they’ve thrived. I think that’s hopeful for people to see, and hopefully we will embrace the wisdom that’s there,” she said.
Dugan is also hopeful that “The Golden Bachelor” will inspire other seniors to pursue and embrace love, especially if they have closed off that avenue.
“Our love lives don’t have [a] best-[if]-used-by date,” she shared. “We’re able to celebrate life in different ways as we get older…and we should celebrate it instead of hiding it away. It really, truly is a golden time for building and enjoying a healthy love life as well.”
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