Grandma face-plants off toilet after ‘porn star martinis’ at bottomless brunch

A grandma was left red-faced — and concussed — after going a little hard at a bottomless brunch over the weekend.

Nat Cooper, 43, was celebrating her birthday with a friend at a bottomless brunch in Makerfield, England, when she took a tumble — face-planting into the toilet and giving herself a black eye.

After pre-gaming with some “big, big” vodka drinks and a cider, Cooper and her bud, Siobhan, had two hours where they enjoyed bottomless cocktails at the restaurant.

“I was drinking ‘porn star martinis,’ but you get a glass of prosecco as well, which keeps getting filled up, so you’ve got two drinks at a time and both my hands were full,” Cooper told South West News Service. “I was like a pig in s–t.

“I had some food, which was gorgeous, I think, because this bit I remember — and then s–t hits the fan.”

According to the mom-of-six, she can’t recall going to the toilet, but was told she left the stall door open to talk to Siobhan before she “flopped forward.”

“If I had shut the door, I would have only banged on the door, but I hit the floor,” she explained.

“I was like Dory out of ‘Finding Nemo,’” she said. “I kept forgetting I had fallen and asking who hit me.”

It didn’t stop the birthday girl from enjoying the rest of her night, who brushed off a “kind stranger’s” offer to take her home and instead went to a nearby pub to continue the celebrations.

“I didn’t drink and I still didn’t know I had fallen but apparently wouldn’t let anyone phone an ambulance,” Cooper said, adding that “the barmaid gave me ice for my eye.”

Cooper ended the night being carried home by “Siobhan and her mum,” saying she has no one to blame but herself.

“The restaurant itself was second to none, beautiful place and lovely staff,” she said.

“I hope they let me back — it wasn’t their fault, it was my fault,” she said. “I shouldn’t have been pre-drinking!”

Although, she has learned something from the experience.

“I don’t think bottomless brunches are for me!”