Here’s the epic power ballad that sings to your zodiac sign
Belt it out, set it free and put your lighters in the air my babies, let’s talk power ballads.
Whether lamenting love gone wrong or celebrating life in all its failures and majesties, roses and thorns, purple rain and vivid pain, power ballads are the FM heart beat of the human experience.
The 80’s era of power ballads was ushered in by Journey’s karaoke classic, “Don’t Stop Believing,” an ode to dark bars and morning after optimism. The decade played on with Bonnie Tyler’s astro relevant banger “Total Eclipse of the Heart” and Roxette’s dedication to the ache of hindsight, “It Must Have Been Love.”
The rise of MTV brought a deluge of earnest hair metal ballads and music videos in varying degrees of cringe, including but not limited to “Love Bites,” “Heaven,” “Don’t Know What You Got (‘Til It’s Gone),” “Home Sweet Home,” “More Than Words,”and “Ballad of Jayne.” The 1990’s saw wrenching classics from the likes of Toni Braxton, Mariah Carey, Celine Dion, Meatloaf and Metallica.
Just as there’s a fairy tale, cookie, dog breed, movie villain, power color, sex toy, and flower varietal for each zodiac sign, so too is there a power ballad. This list is by no means definitive, simply evocative.
Read on and turn it up.
“I Don’t Want to Miss a Thing,” Aerosmith
“I Don’t Want to Miss a Thing,” belted into being by IRL Aries Steven Tyler pushes a sentimental Diane Warren ballad over the top and over the borderline into a shrieking, infernal piece of unabashed rock n’ roll romance. Bless.
Fueled by fire and high on fumes, Aries folk have a need to be in on, and part of, the action at all times. Prone to falling prey to FOMO, this ode to staying awake out of fear of missing out is the zero chill anthem of the ram.
“If I Could Turn Back Time,” Cher
Taurus loves to play tough and as fixed earth adamantly refuses to admit defeat, fault or vulnerability making Cher’s “If I Could Turn Back Time,” the closest thing to an apology you’ll ever get out of a love bent bull.
The lyrics “Too strong to tell you I was sorry/Too proud to tell you I was wrong,” are pure Taurus and manage to be both a humble brag and a meager mea culpa. Performed by Cher, the bare assed, leather accented, sailor flanked bull queen herself, the effect is nothing short of defiant glory.
“Purple Rain”
Prince was a Gemini king and this power ballad, written for the “Purple Rain,” soundtrack reveals the mutable air of the man behind it. In the lyrics, “I never wanted to be your weekend lover/I only wanted to be some kind of friend,” we see the vague, noncommittal energy of Gemini at its best worst.
A Mercury ruled sign that thrives on intrigue and loses interest quickly, Gemini is perhaps better at writing/singing about love than investing in it. Add to the air sign energy that Prince originally wrote “Purple Rain,” as a country duet for fellow Gemini Stevie Nicks.
“I Don’t Wanna Fight,” Tina Turner
Cancer is ruled by the moon and this ballad, brought to life by the late, great Tina Turner begins with a lunar reference, makes mention of wishes, suggests surrender and sleep and generally encapsulates the spirit of the people of the crab.
“You look at me the wrong way and I start to cry” = every Cancer ever. Mars is the planet of fighting and it is unable to effectively express itself in the sign of Cancer.
In simpler terms, Cancer folk really don’t wanna fight no more, they don’t care whose wrong (you) or right (them) they just want things to go back to the warm way that they were.
“My Heart Will Go On,” Celine Dion
Leo rules the heart and lions don’t shy away from anything. Ever. Especially grand declarations of love and sweeping, shameless romance. Enter “My Heart Will Go On,” brought to high note life by Leo rising Celine Dion.
Leo is associated with stage and film and the song was conceived as a marketing tool to promote the historical epic “Titanic,” directed by Leo James Cameron. Cha-ching.
As the song promises, Leos will always live to love another day but they ain’t sharing their wooden board because survival is always paramount to sentiment. Roar.
“Irreplaceable,” Beyoncé
Beyoncé, patron saint of Virgos, really sings to the spirit of her sign in 2006’s banger ballad “Irreplaceable.”
Who but a Virgo takes the time to meticulously pack their ex’s belongings and provide them with directions to find them?
Who but a Virgo hovers close by to make sure none of their own s–t gets stolen, all the while letting their cheating ex know they are a) utterly ordinary and b) absolutely expendable?
Taking care of business and taking the trash to the curb, big time Virgo vibe.
As an aside, let it be known that the QUEEN of the ballad, ladies and gentlemen Diane Warren, she of the words behind “I Don’t Want To Miss A Thing,” “Nothing Gonna Stop Us Now,” “Unbreak My Heart,” and “If I Could Turn Back Time,” is also a card carrying Virgo.
“Shallow,” Lady Gaga and Bradley Cooper
Libra is the sign of partnerships; marriage, business deals, creative contracts and Oscar winning duets. Enter, “Shallow,” the collaborative ballad from Lady Gaga and costar Bradley Cooper.
The standout song from the soundtrack for “A Star Is Born,” it begins as a conversation between two forces. As Gaga explains, “It’s two people talking to each other about the need and the drive to dive into the deep end.”
Prone to keeping the peace and playing it safe, Libras oft need reminded not to linger in the shallows.
Ruled by Venus, they prefer pretty people, smooth sounds, romantic sentiments and refined aesthetics, qualities delivered in this break the internet rendition of the song; complete with hand holding, a classic up do, a piano bench, a single mic and some disquieting eye contact.
“Rolling In the Deep,” Adele
Scorpio rules the eighth house of sex, death and regeneration and any mention of scars, burning, reaping or the proverbial dark falls squarely in their domain. Of course, Adele’s “Rolling In the Deep,” has all that and more.
Part scorned love ballad, part warning shot and pure Scorpio, the message here is very clear; love me or you will rue the day. Sexy, spooky, not to be underestimated and never to be f—ed with.
“All To Well,” Taylor Swift
What better song for an archer than a ballad written by a Sagittarius about a Sagittarius that details an autumnal road trip fantasy that crashes and burns leaving nothing but enduring emotional carnage and the thinning threads of a red scarf as evidence?
T. Swift’s “All Too Well,” leads with zero subtlty, unflinching honesty and the vantage of lessons learned the hard way. For more Swift soundtracking, see our list of the “Midnights” songs that embody each zodiac sign.
“I Will Always Love You,” Whitney Houston
Written by Capricorn queen Dolly Parton, “I Will Always Love You,” is, in true Cap fashion, not about the end of a romantic relationship but the severing of a business partnership.
Parton penned it as her parting words to Porter Wagoner, expressing her desire to go solo. And because Dolly is an anaretic Cap ever on her MF grind, she wrote “I Will Always Love You,” and “Jolene,” on THE SAME DAY.
The song was later recorded by the late great Whitney Houston for the soundtrack for her 1992 film “The Bodyguard.” Houston’s character directs the song to her love interest, played by IRL Capricorn Kevin Costner.
Add to the earth sign evidence that in the music video for the song, Houston appears stoic in shoulder pads, rocking an all black business suit in a snow capped landscape thereby invoking the spirit and season of the sea goat.
“November Rain,” Guns N’ Roses
Let’s talk briefly about the astrology of Axl Rose; this wild card has SIX Aquarius placements including sun, Mercury, Venus, Mars, Jupiter and Saturn.
If it weren’t for his squishy, martyr Pisces moon this dude would 1000% be an astronaut, autocrat or dead eyed, linen pant wearing cult leader. The fixed air energy of Aquarius often translates to uncompromising individuals fanatically devoted to their own causes. Ahem.
It’s unhinged, it’s incredible, and it remains the greatest rock ballad of all time.
We see this MO expressed in Rose’s magnum opus, the piano laden masterpiece ladies and gentlemen “November Rain.”
Looking for lyrical evidence of Rose’s lone wolf, solitary genius Aquarius nature? Look no further than “Sometimes I need some time on my own/Sometimes I need some time all alone/Ooh, everybody needs some time on their own/Ooh, don’t you know you need some time all alone” We get it.
It reportedly took Rose years to write the song and its original incarnation clocked in at 25 minutes long. At the time of its release the music video for the song, which defies all laws of reality and reason, was the most expensive ever made.
The short film includes a wedding, a funeral, a fake rain storm, an iconic mullet dress, a full orchestra, a nonsensical dessert guitar solo and a puzzling death. It’s unhinged, it’s incredible, and it remains the greatest ballad of all time and a point of pride for anyone born under the stars of the water bearer.
“Kiss From a Rose,” Seal
True to the mutable moodiness of his sign, power Pisces Seal, upon hearing his first recording of “Kiss From the Rose,” threw it in the corner out of sheer embarrassment.
Pisces is ruled by Neptune, the planet of dreams, fantasy, addiction and escape and this song underscores the point, comparing a love affair to a drug habit; dilated pupils and all. It tracks that “Kiss From a Rose” became the theme song for “Batman Forever,” as Bruce Wayne is the most unapologetically emo superhero of all time.
Our man sings, “You remain my power, my pleasure, my pain, baby/To me, you’re like a growing addiction that I can’t deny/Won’t you tell me, is that healthy, baby?” No, no it isn’t Seal but it is absolutely fitting for the booze, glitter and dead flower petal filled bathtub vibe of your mutable water sign.
Astrology 101: Your guide to the stars
Astrologer Reda Wigle researches and irreverently reports back on planetary configurations and their effect on each zodiac sign. Her horoscopes integrate history, poetry, pop culture and personal experience. She is also an accomplished writer who has profiled a variety of artists and performers, as well as extensively chronicled her experiences while traveling. Among the many intriguing topics she has tackled are cemetery etiquette, her love for dive bars, Cuban Airbnbs, a “girls guide” to strip clubs and the “weirdest” foods available abroad.
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