Original script for Will Ferrell hit ‘Anchorman’ was bizarre

A plane full of news anchors crashes into a mountain, and their lives become a battle for survival against hostile predators.

Eventually, they must consider — will we have to eat human flesh to survive?

While this sounds like a familiar movie plot, it’s not for the movie you might expect: It was one of the initial versions of the Will Ferrell comedy classic “Anchorman.”

As Saul Austerlitz writes in his new book, “Kind of a Big Deal: How Anchorman Stayed Classy And Became The Most Iconic Comedy of the Twenty-First Century” (Dutton),” that script, then titled “Action News Man,” was still a very funny take on a shopworn premise.

“Ron convinces the pilot he knows how to fly the charter jet, and he immediately crash lands it in the mountains,” Ferrell once explained of Anchorman’s iconic main character, Ron Burgundy. 

“They clipped a cargo plane . . . and it was carrying only boxes of orangutans and Chinese throwing stars. Throughout the movie we’re being stalked by orangutans killing, one by one, the team off with throwing stars, [with] Veronica Corningstone saying things like, ‘Guys, I know if we just head down, we’ll hit civilization.’ ”

“Anchorman” was created by Ferrell and director Adam McKay, a former SNL head writer and Ferrell’s writing partner on the show.

Together, they created classic sketches like “Celebrity Jeopardy.”

Their first film script, written while both were still at the show, was “August Blowout.”

Ferrell was set to play Jeff Tanner, a master 1970s car salesman who directly addresses the viewer while standing on his car hood in a Southern California traffic jam, describing himself as “rugged, sexy, and American,” and “fully tricked out with all the features.”

“I come with a confident handshake, an outstanding ass, a saddle in my bedroom, and except for some screwup by JCPenney, a near spotless credit report,” Jeff says to the camera.

“And guess what? That’s all standard.”  

Paramount showed some interest, but Ferrell was still little known. Even after a successful rewrite by Tina Fey, the studio chose to make David Spade’s “Dickie Roberts: Former Child Star” instead.

Sometime later, Ferrell was home one night, watching an episode of A&E’s “Biography” on pioneering newswoman Jessica Savitch. 

Her fellow anchor Mort Crim was talking about the brutal sexism Savitch faced, including from himself, and he casually remarked, “You have to remember, back then I was a real male chauvinist pig.”

“Something about the offhanded nature of the remark — male chauvinist pig, no biggie — tickled Ferrell’s fancy, and he called McKay to see if he was also watching,” writes Austerlitz. 

The pair found a deep well of humor in “news anchors, whom [McKay] had grown up believing to possess godlike authority, behaving like toddlers.”

They wrote the news-anchor plane crash script — then called “Action News Man” — and director Paul Thomas Anderson even considered producing it before ultimately finding it too out-there.

After all of Hollywood rejected it, the pair’s manager suggested bringing Judd Apatow in for guidance.

Subsequent re-writes saw the plane crash/cannibalism storyline fade, and the battle of the sexes between the characters then known as Rod Burgundy and Alicia Corningstone become more prominent.

After Ferrell became a star in 2003 thanks to his roles in “Elf” and “Old School,” doors swung open for the pair.

Even Steven Spielberg was reportedly dismayed that his DreamWorks had let a previous option for Ferrell’s next film lapse.

But DreamWorks eventually won the rights to the film in a bidding war, and Ferrell and McKay began assembling their fantasy cast — which looked nothing like the eventual cast of the film.

Initially, they imagined John C. Reilly as sportscaster Champ Kind, Ben Stiller as the suave Brian Fantana, and Chris Parnell as dense weatherman Brick Tamland.

James Spader even read the script and somehow saw himself as Brick.

He told McKay that he would do anything to get the role — except audition for it.

While it’s hard now to imagine anyone but Steve Carell as Brick, “Bob’s Burgers” actor Jay Johnston also auditioned well for the part, and Ferrell and McKay agonized for days over the choice before finally agreeing on Carell.

Several of the film’s major roles came down to tough choices. 

While Stiller was by then too famous for a supporting role, there were two great actors up for the part of Brian Fantana: Paul Rudd and Bob Odenkirk.

Eventually, Ferrell and McKay agreed on Rudd, as he had a “cheesy playboy quality” they felt was essential for the part.

Reilly was already committed to Martin Scorsese’s “The Aviator,” leaving the part of Champ open for Ferrell’s SNL co-star David Koechner.

For the crucial role of Veronica Corningstone, Amy Adams and Maggie Gyllenhaal gave fantastic auditions.

But Ferrell and McKay felt that Adams looked too young to play Veronica, and Gyllenhaal a bit too high class. Christina Applegate filled these gaps, and her audition made it clear that she would be Veronica.

Ferrell and McKay completed the film’s script, but the filming involved both script-reverent takes and opportunities for improvisational madness, which were indicated after securing solid takes of the scripted material by McKay yelling out, “Let’s let the squirrel out of the bag!”

Most of the movie’s scenes found the actors improvising countless lines.

Some were used in the film, and others wound up on various unrated or extra DVD versions.

After Koechner’s Champ talks about waking up in a Japanese family’s rec room after a heavy night of drinking, Koechner improvised other versions, including, “I woke up this morning and I s–t a squirrel . . . damn thing’s still alive.”

Carell, a veteran improviser from his days at Second City, didn’t miss a beat as he replied, “I’m sorry, Champ. I think I ate your chocolate squirrel.”

“Whether we love Ron, despise him, or are uninterested in him . . . he is the rare character to take on a meaning and significance beyond the story in which we find him.”

Saul Austerlitz

There were less funny moments behind the scenes as well.

In the film’s climax, where Veronica finds herself trapped in a bear pit, Applegate appeared opposite a real bear.

The crew had been warned not to make any sudden gestures for fear of triggering the bear, and wires were installed “to give the bear the impression that the pit was electrified,” writes Austerlitz, “but they were merely for show.”

But due to a miscommunication, a scene where Victoria waves her arms to get Ron’s attention accidentally gave the bear the instruction to surge forward.

“The bear unexpectedly lunged in Applegate’s direction, its claws extended,” writes Austerlitz. “The bear’s handler leaped in, grabbing Applegate around the waist and throwing her out of the way. Applegate was yanked out a side door and away from the bear.”

Applegate was “shaking uncontrollably,” and McKay shut down production for the rest of the day.

“Anchorman,” a moderate box office hit upon its July 2004 release, grew into one of the most quotable and memeable films of its era, spawning familiar, oft-repeated lines including “I’m in a glass case of emotion,” “I’m kind of a big deal,” “You stay classy, San Diego,” and “Sixty percent of the time it works every time.”

Thanks to Ferrell and McKay, Ron Burgundy’s glass case of emotion has made him one of the most iconic movie characters of the past quarter-century.

“[Ron Burgundy] has become an archetype, an instant recognizable holy buffoon,” writes Austerlitz. “Whether we love Ron, despise him, or are uninterested in him . . . he is the rare character to take on a meaning and significance beyond the story in which we find him.”