Ukrainians plan orgy in event of Putin launching nuke

Ukrainians fearing that Russian President Vladimir Putin may unleash a nuke have organized another big bang — a wild sex party in the event that the warmonger’s threat becomes reality.

More than 15,000 people have signed up for “Orgy on Shchekavystsa: Official,” a mass romp set up on a Telegram group in the event of Putin launching a nuclear blast, Vice News reported.

The would-be participants in the carnal extravaganza on a hill outside the capital Kyiv have been instructed to adorn their hands with stripes to specify what activities they’re interested in, according to the news outlet.

Those into anal sex were told to draw three stripes, while revelers into the oral variety may display four.

“It’s the opposite of despair. Even in the worst-case scenario, people will look for something good. That’s the mega-optimism of Ukrainians,” one woman reportedly told Radio Free Europe about the orgy.

“It’s an attempt to show that the more they try to scare us, the more we will transform it into something else,” a man added.

The Telegram channel also has posted updates on the ongoing war, describing the counteroffensive efforts in the city of Kherson as “BDSM parties for Russians.”

An air-raid siren last week prompted one eager member of the orgy group to post: “Is it time?” Hundreds responded with smiley-face emojis.

Meanwhile, similar groups have popped up, including one announcing an orgy on Derybasivska Street in Odessa — hoping many will come, Vice reported.

Putin is feared to be planning a nuclear test on the border with Ukraine — while officials in Kyiv are already handing out potassium iodide pills to protect against a possible nuke strike.